from now on my penis is your penis
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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