i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
