Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
