There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
