He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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