In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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