i permit you to call me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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