then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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