I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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