the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
