For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
