This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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