i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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