So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
