You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
