In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
