Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
