we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
