I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
