You can't special order awesome
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
