just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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