we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
