he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
