He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I would fuck him just for his dog
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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