we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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