my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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