He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
