Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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