why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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