is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
