I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
