As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
