there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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