Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
