i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My vagina just recognized that song.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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