Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
