thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
