I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
