I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
