If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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