so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
