I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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