dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
