if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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