I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
