So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
my poor anus
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
