i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
