when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
