WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
