Don't make out with my wife yet
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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